


Kyle's Wacky Gnome Adventure

by 411_axel



Category: South Park
Genre: Idk what else to put here honestly, Other, i thought this ode was funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 13:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16041731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/411_axel/pseuds/411_axel
Summary: Kyle gets shrunk by gnomes.





	Kyle's Wacky Gnome Adventure

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Semantically Challenged](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12739188) by [TeamAlphaQ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamAlphaQ/pseuds/TeamAlphaQ). 



> I love this concept, got this idea from Setamentally Challenged. Great creek book, 10/10 would recomend.

"..yum tum tummy tum day! We won't stop till we have underpants, yum tum tummy tum day!"

 

'What the hell?' 

Kyle blinked open his eyes at the sounds of... Someone? Singing some weird song. He looked over toward his dresser, where the sound was resonating from, and his eyes widened. "What the fuck!" He yelled as he jumped up out of his bed. 

The gnomes turned around to face him, all in a vertical line to his top dresser drawer. "Ah shit! He awake! Hurry up!" One of them shouted and the gnome at the top started to quickly grab the red heads underwear. 

"Hey! Those are mine!" Kyle reached over and grabbed his golf club from earlier that day, he was putting his costumes up neater than they had been previously, his golf club had an undecided place by his night stand. He took it and lunged for the gnomes managing to knock one off. 

"Oh fuck!" A gnome yelled and they all scrambled. "Ah! Fuck, someone get Joseph!" At that, a gnome with skulls and furs on, came out from behind the dresser. Kyle made a mental note to put rat traps and poison there later. "Ok kid, put the club down. This is your only warning." The gnome, Joesph, said.

Kyle rose a brow before he glared and swung his club at the gnome. The gnome jumped out of the way, causing Kyle to miss. "Ok that does it." Joseph pulled off a little pouch from his belt and didn't hesitate to throw some form of powder at the pissed off red head. 

All the sudden, the world started spinning and Kyle felt disoriented. He dropped his club somewhere during this and found himself laying on the ground next to it. "The fuck!" He scooted away from the club and turned around to see the gnomes scurrying off with his underwear. "Hey! Get back here you bastards!

The Jew got up to his feet, stumbling a bit he grabbed his head. By the time he looked up, the gnomes were gone. "Oh god dammit." He muttered, dashing off to where the gnomes disappeared. He found a weirdly smooth mouse hole behind his dresser. He scowled at this. How long have these little bastards been stealing his underwear?

He sprinted through the hole in the wall, wanting to catch up but at the same time he was never here before, he didn't need to be running into a wall, he'll probably have to fight these bastards. He rounded a corner and froze.

Jesus fuck that's a big rat.

Kyle soon glared, he didn't have time for this. "Get out, go on, shoo! Fuck off!" The rat looked over at Kyle and let out an angry sounding squeak. Fuck. Kyle looked around. Ah! A tack! He picked it up, he gave it a couple swings before glaring back at the rat. "Come get me you bastard!" He held out the tack and the rat let out another screech before it ran for the Jew. 

Kyle readied his tack and once the rat got close, he maneuvered to the side and thrust his tack out, cutting along the side of the rat. The rat screeched out in pain as it turned around. It wasn't backing down that easily. Kyle readied his tack again. The rat lunged forward, this time Kyle let himself fall back, him pointing the tack upward. The rat fell right on top of Kyle and let out one last, fading screech before it seized it's movements. 

The red head sighed in relief and scooted out from under the dead rat. He looked down at his pajamas. "Ah! Dude! Weak!" He grimaced as he saw the blood on his favorite pj's. He let out a frustrated sound as he turned around to start sprinting again, more pissed now than before.

He ran through different tunnels, getting lost more times than he could count. Finally, huffing, he rounded a corner and saw big room of gnome. He took a deep breath in before yelling out. "Which one of you sick fucks took my god damn underwear!" The room fell silent immediately, Kyle just waited, glaring at every gnome he could set his eye on. "Ah fuck, not again." One gnome groaned, face palming.

Another spoke up. "Fuck off kid, we're trying to run a business here." Kyle felt his blood boil. "A fucking business? I had to fight a god damn rat to get here! I have blood all over me-" he held out his arms at this. "-I have so many splinters! Fuck your business!" 

"Fuck, kid, look." The first gnome said, pointing off to a door. "Through there some where, you'll find some warlocks. If you convince them you'll be fine." Kyle clenched his fists, the gnomes calm demeanor pissing him off more. He went through the suggested door and found a long hallway. "Oh your fucking kidding me." There were so many damn doors. Kyle went to the first door and started going down the line.

About the 10th door, he found them. One immediately went "Oh shit!" And he knew he was in the right place. Kyle stepped in, closing the door behind him. "Give me my underwear back you sick fuck." He growled to the gnome. 

There was just a table In this room, along with a few chairs and pictures on the wall. There were five gnomes around the table, but Kyle only cared about one right now. "Ok kid look." He got up from the table. "How about a deal?" He walked over to Kyle to talk more formally. "I can't get your underpants back, but, I can make you big again, how about that?" The gnome had a smile on his face, like he knew the deal would work.

But he was wrong.

Kyle glared before throwing a punch at the gnomes face, knocking him back a step. "Ow! Fuck! You dick!" The gnome yelled, throwing a punch of his own. The rest of the gnomes joined together in cheering on the fight. 

Many punches were exchanged, leaving both Kyle and Joseph bruised and bloody. Soon, Kyle got the upper hand by tackling joe to the ground and punching him repeatedly. 

"Alright alright! Fuck!" Kyle gave one last punch for good measure, and he got up, wiping blood from his nose. The gnome got up as well. "Jesus kid here!" He took a small punch from his belt and plopped it in the others hands. "I'll go get your underpants kid." He then went off, leaving Kyle satisfied with himself. One of the remaining gnomes offered a game of poker, but Kyle denied. 

Soon, joe came back with a couple pairs of folded underpants. "Here, now fucking leave ok?" Kyle nodded, he felt exhausted now from this whole ordeal. After a while, he finally got out of the gnomes hide out, he happened outside somehow. Groaning, he poured the powder over himself. The spinning sensation came back and when he felt ok enough, he opened his eyes to find himself at his original size. 

He sighed in relief and stuffed his underpants in a pocket of his. Now, he edged to clean up.. Jesus he needed a shower. He didn't feel like going to his home and potentially getting an ear full from his mom, so he decided to go to his super best friends house.

Once he reached the house, which wasn't too far away, he went to the back, finding the sturdy drain pipe. He climbed up skillfully, he's done this countless times before. He opened up the nearest window and dropped in. 

There came the sound of shuffling and a tired voice. "Kyle?" Then a light came on from beside the bed. Once Stan saw Kyle, his eyes widened. "Before you say anything, I need your help-" "with what? Hiding a dead body? Kyle Jesus Christ who died?" Stan was awake now, sitting up right in his bed. Kyle shook his head. "It was a rat- I'll explain after a shower, it's a long story." Kyle headed over to the boys dresser and went for the bottom drawer, pulling out spare clothes and heading to take a shower.

Once Kyle came out, his old pj's in a bag, he found Stan with a map. "Ok dude, if we both get money together we can get train tickets out of town, as for the body we can throw it in the pond-" "Stan fuck I didn't kill anyone." Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose as he sat down. "It's that easy for you?" He asked, looking at Stan. His friend shrugged. "I was hopping you killed cartman." Kyle let out a small laugh at that. "Me too."

"..so, what did happen? Oh god Kyle, where'd you get those bruises?!" Stan now suddenly felt worried. Kyle jus sighed and laid back. "You're not gonna believe this." He started before telling his story. The rest of that night went by with Stan helping Kyle with a few cuts he had and ice for bigger bruises as the red head told the story.


End file.
